Breakfast of Champions

I feel as if I've been packing on weight like I'm about to go into hibernation, so I've been doing some selective shopping. Here's something that I picked up at Lucky's (or Albertson's. Whichever it's called at the moment.):

Smart Bacon: Meatless, low fat strips. I actually bought it out of curiosity. C'mon. Meatless bacon? I actually think that calling it bacon on the box... in the product's NAME... should be considered false advertising. Bacon, by definition is

1.the back and sides of the hog, salted and dried or smoked, usually sliced thin and fried for food.

Whatever sells, I guess. Anyway, I had to add Jufran. It's how I eat REAL bacon, so I had to eat it with these strips of deception as well.


The shit doesn't even remotely look like bacon in the pan. You know what it does look like, though? Long, rectangular strips of...


Tell me I'm wrong!

(no worries. hands washed. fully santitized.)

Slight hint of bacon-like flavor. It'll do, I s'pose.